Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling overwhelmed by a rush of emotions and sensations that seem like they just appeared out of the blue?
Well, you might have just met one of your emotional triggers.
My first time noticing one of my triggers was pivotal for me. The emotional trigger was fear and it was linked to the spoken words of others and my then people-pleasing tendency. Whenever someone said “I can’t…” Or “I’m struggling to…” I would immediately respond with assistance and I almost went into a panic to make sure that I could help them.
Our triggers can be little or big things such as hearing a specific song, feeling criticised or threatened and even experiencing the smell of someone’s perfume as they walk into the room, which can flip our emotional switch in a heartbeat. Understanding these triggers is not just about getting to know what makes us tick but in recognising and managing these triggers, we can maintain a steadier emotional balance as we respond to the world around us.
In this blog, I’ll help guide you through some reflective questions and journal prompts which are designed to help you explore your triggers. Think of it as emotional detective work, where you're both the sleuth and the subject—fascinating, right?
What are Emotional Triggers?
An emotional trigger is anything from a person to a place, a memory, or even a specific situation that sparks an intense emotional and/or physical reaction, regardless of your current mood.
These triggers are closely tied to our memories and past experiences. They act like buttons that, when pressed, can summon a flood of feelings that might seem out of place or disproportionate to the moment.
Common sources of triggers can include past traumas, childhood neglect/abandonment/abuse or ongoing stress, relationship tensions or conflicts. Here are a few examples of what might be pushing those buttons…
Difficult situations such as having to go somewhere or receiving unexpected bills/letter
When there is the potential for conflict
Phrases or words
The end of a meaningful relationship
Performing specific or unexpected tasks
Health issues, either personal or within the family
Academic pressures/fear of failure or getting it wrong
Being isolated or unsupported
Being unheard or ignored
Relationship dynamics like divorce or new family structures.
Changes in living situations or moving to a new area.
Anniversaries of significant events.
Visiting places linked to or familiar to specific memories.
Encountering specific objects or keepsakes that evoke memories.
Our triggers can sneak up on us at the most inappropriate of moments and the impact of these triggers on our lives can be profound as they can influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in significant ways.
For instance, if you've had a stressful day at work might you might notice how you are unusually short-tempered at home, or a song that is a reminder of a past relationship might suddenly feel melancholic.
Understanding our triggers allows us to better manage our emotional responses and take proactive steps towards maintaining and balancing our mental health.
Recognising Your Triggers
Identifying personal emotional triggers is a big step toward managing your emotional landscape more effectively. It begins with tuning into yourself and noticing the subtler signs that indicate a trigger is at play. This is the part that I found the hardest when I started out on my own “triggers to wellbeing” journey.
Triggers can be signs which can be noticed as physical sensations as well as or instead of emotional responses. You might feel a sudden tightness in your chest, a quickening heartbeat, or perhaps an unexpected flush of heat. Maybe you notice you are tapping your feet or your mouth becomes dry and you begin biting your nails. Start noticing these feelings when they happen because these are your alarm bells for taking action.
Emotionally, triggers can cause surges of anger, irritation, sadness, or an intense wave of anxiety, seemingly out of nowhere.
Self-awareness, mindful practice and journalling are great tools in helping to manage triggers in the process. They’ve helped me recognise and observe my thoughts and feelings without making judgments as they occur. This has helped me detect patterns in my reactions that I can link to my specific triggers. By continuing this approach it helps me to recognise the precursors to reactions which often go unnoticed.
From my experience, this awareness then allows me to take steps in managing responses – perhaps deciding to step away for a while, practice some deep breathing, or engage in other calming techniques before the emotion takes hold.
As you've probably gathered I've found that the journey to recognise triggers is a personal one and as mentioned before it requires some detective work. Paying attention to the body signals and emotions that are experienced in various situations can provide valuable clues which have felt empowering for me as I've felt more in control.
Managing and Responding to Triggers
Once you’ve got those emotional triggers identified the next step is developing strategies to cope with them effectively. Im going to give you some practical ideas which are merely an invitation for you to try. spend time with each of them or scour the internet for others that might be more useful for you because what works for one doesn’t always work for another. The greatest tool for me has been setting boundaries but to be honest when it's in the moment I find breathing the most useful. So, here’s some ideas for you…
Deep breathing
This is a simple powerful technique that can help calm the nervous system and reduce the intensity of emotions. You might try slow, controlled breathing to create a sense of stability when you feel overwhelmed. My personal favourite breathing technique is 7/11 (which I adjust to suit myself). There are lots of techniques out there so try doing some research, give your chosen one some time and practice before deciding whether it's the right one for you.
Taking a break
Sometimes, the best response to a trigger is to step away from the situation. This could be taking a short walk or simply retreating into a quiet space where you can gather your thoughts and emotions.
Seeking support Reach out to friends, family or a support group who understands what you’re going through. Sharing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and provide different perspectives.
Grounding techniques.
These help to engage the senses and bring you back to the present. They can involve tactile activities like holding a cold glass of water, focusing on specific sounds in your environment or you might use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique details of which you can find plastered across the internet.
Mindful exercises
Practice mindfulness to enhance your awareness in the present moment. Using techniques like body scans or observing your thoughts without judgment can take the power out of emotional triggers.
Self-care and setting boundaries.
I believe that self-care is vital in managing emotional triggers. This means prioritising well-being and engaging in activities that promote mental, physical and emotional health. Setting clear boundaries is also crucial as it helps prevent situations that might activate your triggers. This could involve setting limits with others about your time and energy or recognising when certain social situations are too overwhelming for you. Learning how to say ‘no’ to the requests of others can give you crucial downtime.
Seeking professional help
Whilst self-help strategies can be really valuable, there are times when professional assistance is necessary. If you find that your triggers significantly disrupt your daily life, you feel overwhelmed or if the emotions you experience are unmanageable, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. Counselling can help you discover root causes, help you to develop strategies to cope with your triggers and improve your overall emotional resilience and confidence (it helped me so it can help you).
Using Journalling to Explore Your Triggers
As you probably know by now, I’m a big advocate of self-awareness and personal development so it’s a no-brainer for me that I’m going to bring journalling into the equation as a tool to help you in your own journey towards discovering your triggers and how you can help yourself. Journalling isn’t just about recording daily events; it’s a really useful tool for introspection (big word alert!) and growth. It allows you to explore the depths of your emotions and your triggers in a personal, private space. By putting pen to paper, using speech recognition within an app or creative art journalling you can uncover patterns in your thoughts and behaviours that may not be apparent from the surface. This practice not only promotes self-awareness but also enhances your sense of individuality as you connect with your unique emotional experiences.
Here are 6 thought-provoking journal questions designed to help you explore and understand your emotional triggers...
📖 When did I last experience strong emotions? What was the emotion i.e. anger, sadness, or frustration? What was happening around me at that time? What was the event or situation? This question can help identify specific instances when triggers may have occurred.
📖 what physical sensations did I notice when I felt these emotions? Did I have a dry mouth, heart palpitations, notice any areas of my body becoming tense, was my face getting hot or was I tapping my feet? Maybe I was pacing, biting my nails or had a general sense of unease? Connecting emotions to physical sensations can aid in recognising triggers as they happen.
📖 what thoughts were going through my mind just before and during these emotional responses? Did I notice whether I felt scared, or stupid, not good enough or maybe feeling letdown? Maybe my mind was racing so much that I couldn’t think. Understanding your thoughts can help to reveal patterns and potential areas for personal growth and change.
📖 who was I with, and how did their presence affect my feelings? Did I feel criticised, threatened, unheard, sad, disappointed in myself, angry or frustrated or maybe as though too much was expected of me? This question can help you to explore the impact of social interactions on your emotional state.
📖 what actions did I feel compelled to take in response to my emotions? Did I feel the urge to leave the room? Did I feel the need to call a friend or to seek reassurance elsewhere? Did I want to control or take over the situation? Did I choose to have time alone? Did I overindulge by turning to comfort eating or binge-watching TV or perhaps I felt an impulse to engage in physical activity such as going for a run or hitting the gym? Did I follow through with my action urges? reflecting on impulses and actions can help you identify reactive behaviours that might not align with your desired responses.
📖 looking back, when have I felt like this in the before? What similarities are there between past and present situations?
I have drawn on my own experiences to write this blog and I hope that this has given you an opportunity to take a stroll through the intricate and sometimes complex landscape of your emotional triggers, uncovering what they are, how to recognise them and most importantly how to manage them in an effective way that suits you.
I hope you keep reflecting, keep growing and don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel the journey is getting a bit too daunting to tackle alone. Together we can find out more about what presses those buttons and you can build a more confident, resilient and self-aware you. Contact me here…https://www.counsellingforyoucornwall.co.uk/contact
You don’t have to struggle alone!
Also, if you want to start your journalling journey and you're not sure where to begin you can download my FREE Journal Workbook here...
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